Masks
by Idiotic Stupidty Person
Summary: [AU]Oneshots of their live, and just how hard it is to live in a world full of lies. [1.Tohru POV. Her happy ending finally came.] [2. Kagura. No one, no one, can ever guess what she is thinking.]
1. Tohru: My Happy Endning

Hello, welcome to this 'weird' oneshot of mines...Its all narration, in Tohru's POV.

Disclaimers: Does this story look anything like the plot from manga?

Warnings: Extreme OCCness with Tohru Honda. This isn't a naive little girl that you see in the manga. You've been warned. And the grammar, and some other stuff.

* * *

As she continued screeching, even when getting dragged about the door, I was finally, somewhat content. It is finally over; my sister's plots bore no fruit. It started a long time ago.

Mokoto always wanted to be the best, she always competed with me. So when the 'prince' of the school fell in love with me, she naturally wouldn't give up without a duel. She used all her charm, her beauty, even her wickedness. She went as far as threatening him that she'll hurt me if he didn't go out with her. But somehow, he remained unmoved. He has only eyes for me. So she hid behind the shadows, and stayed as second place while planning. Plotting to ruin her sister once and for all.

But she never understood me. She always thought that I was kind, naïve, her innocent pure little sister. She was wrong. Mokoto didn't even bother trying to know her sister. In reality, I was never in love with Yuki; I only stuck to him because he was a good friend. Nothing more. I loved Kyo. She was too blinded by her obsession to see the plainest facts. If she hadn't been 'loving' Yuki so much, she would've realized that Kyo and I were always so affectionate with each other. The tones that we speak in, how we would gaze into each other. However, she never got the hints.

Instead, she saw Kyo as a victim, just like her. Someone that desired someone so much, could see them, but was always in short of something to reach them. She decided to strike a deal with him. He never replied, but then she assumed he said yes. So she drugged him, and made him have sex with her. He didn't even realize that he was used as a tool until she announced that she was pregnant with his child. He was so shocked, and with fury. But he could do nothing about it. She knew that as long as she has me in her hands, she can manipulate him.

That was only part of her 'master plan', as she called it. She also drugged Yuki, and pretended that he had slept with her. So she took the news to him, all weeping, and forced him to marry her. Of course, no force on earth was going to make him compel to do that act. My sister was always smart; she went and told Yuki's parents. Of course, the Sohmas made him take her as her spouse. They also did it for another reason that was so plain. They wanted to merge our companies together. Those greedy bastards. They took joy and pride when knowing that Yuki had gotten Mokoto 'pregnant', so freely. What happened to any of their morals anyways?

So, she got what she wanted. The revenge to her sister, since I moved away. I couldn't face Kyo, and I didn't think that I want to stay to watch Yuki be in pain. So I went back to France, where I had spent part of my childhood. I stayed there, until Kyo started seeking for me. He couldn't stand how Mokoto was blackmailing him not to tell the truth to Yuki, and wanted me to expose her.

I naturally didn't. He was such a fool at these matters. Did he think that by not saying anything, he was protecting my honour? No one is going to believe that Yuki and I had an affair while Mokoto was carrying a Sohma heir. In any case, knowing my sister so well, she will be the first one deny of such a fact. But I went back anyways. I love Kyo too much to care. That was my mistake. For loving him too much.

When I came back, I realized how much happiness everyone was living in. They all wanted me to know it was my fault, yet it wasn't my fault. They wanted me to feel guilty in my own will. My sister, taking up the motto as 'The Most Happiest', was far from happy. She never counted for the fact that just because she had a child, that Yuki was going to yield to her. She only thought that Yuki would be in love with her, she never gave a second thought, she never snapped out of her imaginations. She didn't even think about how she could keep Yuki forever. She just took it as granted, that after her little ill-favoured sister left, she would have everything. In truth, it was only the child that bounded those two in a holy matrimony. They always argue, with Yuki running out of patience, and walking out of the house, while my sister broke down into tears. It was just like a soap opera life. So I took action, and succeeded classifying my sister as an insane woman.

So, you all think that life is going to end up happily ever after, now that the evil character is gone. It was far from it. There were so many things to take care of.

The first was what will happen to that child. Of course Yuki could continue his role as a father, but he didn't want to. He felt that the child is Mokoto's, not his. So he gave up, and the guardianship is up for grabs. In the end, I took it.

Why would I want to do something like that? It was pure revenge. I wanted to tell my sister, that by taking her child that she so carefully crafted and loved, that I will take over her position in life. Somehow, it was also unfair to take it out on the child, but blame her for being my sister's daughter. Life wasn't fair. She can blame it on her mother for giving her such a burden.

The second thing is that Yuki is overjoyed to be single, and that I was back. He immediately started to pursue me again. He is also a fool. He was so blindly transfixed by my kindness, that he never notice that I already developed such a strong bond with Kyo. He always thought that I was charmed by him. He always thought that I was friends with Kyo because of him. Guess it takes a fool to know a fool.

I grudgingly accepted some of the dates, since Kyo pushed me to. I didn't understand him, and to tell the truth, I still don't. I'm guessing that his hate for his brother was never going to be repaid to him, so he used me as a weapon. To have Yuki know that I was never in love with him, I only pitied him. I probably never will, but when Yuki proposed to me, he only whispered "Good Luck", and was gone the next day. Guess he didn't want me to be affected by how I was going to answer Yuki. I never wanted to say yes, but in the end, I had to.

I did it for only one reason. Revenge. To four people.

The first one, Yuki. Did he really think that he could charm me? Did he really think that he was some prince? I only got close to him in the first place because I felt that he was so similar to me. He was always so polite, so kind, yet so distant. Everyone thought that was a good quality, but I knew that it was a mask. He was as real as I am. I wanted to see how long it'll take before he'll crack, but I never got to the bottom. I found out that he was a fool, like my sister, and a huge weakling. He needed to depend on others. That is why I am taking in the pleasure to pretend to love him, then revealing that I never did at all. The pain would be worth it.

Second, my sister. I wanted to show her that in the end, no matter how many times that she tried proving to the world that she was the better sister, which she wasn't. When we were younger, she always tried outshining me. So I let her. It's not like I care anyways. She would always give people an image of forever striving, hard working, but also stubborn and reckless. People thought that I would never be ambitious, or have more accomplishments than my sister, but I was far gentler and kinder. It'll be enjoyable, to walk into her white room, and to tell her that all her plotting failed. No matter what, I still won. Even if its 4 years later then her, I never had to waste an ounce of energy.

Third of all, Kyo. He loved me so much, why didn't he hold onto me. Was his revenge that much more important to him? Did he think that he could clear whatever misunderstandings with Yuki through this marriage? Or did he even love me at all? Did he expect some thank you card designed by Hallmark from Yuki? If he claimed that he loved me so much, why didn't he carry me away back to his castle? The Kyo that I know is so much like my inner self. He wasn't selfless like that. He would risk everything that he has. But by giving up at the most important thing in his life, I want to show him that I 'love' Yuki. That I was going to have a happy life with his brother, something that he could never give me. I want him to regret the choice for life.

And finally, I'm only human. Myself. I want to torture myself, for my weakness, that I never said no to Yuki. I could've reasoned with Kyo, but I let him go. I wanted myself to suffer, because I decided to take revenge on an innocent child, and my true love. I am not selfless, but I can't be wholly selfish. I try to be, but in the end, it comes back at me.  
--------------------------------

So 14 years has passed, and now we're at our Christmas reunion with Kyo's family. After we announced our marriage to the public, he found himself a 'soul mate', as he put it. I mean, Kagura is a nice girl, but she didn't have that bond that Kyo and I had. She was sweet, shy, and something like my mask, but hers was genuine. I guess she's my replacement, but that little thing never knew. She still doesn't know that she's being used. Well, better to live in that illusion than to realize that you've been manipulated into that world.

After I married Yuki, everyone thinks that I have an easy life. All I have to do is look after his huge household, go to parties, go relax, and give him another heir or two. Since this bond was based on true love, they thought that I could truly live up to my sister's motto, 'The Most Happiest.'

But it isn't. I have to live with someone that I despise more than love everyday. I look at him with impatience and tiredness. I was getting fed up with that relationship. Couldn't he tell that I was so tired of him? I always want to slap him in the face, give him a reality check, and get out of there. All those little hints that I gave him over the years, getting strained and tired, didn't want to go out so often. Guess he was too wrapped up in his own illusions to care for me. What a fool. He's living in his own world, and thinking that I am part of it, that I am his puppet.

Even though he hasn't gotten the clues, I guess that my children have. Akio and Hikaru, they never treated me like a mom. Probably because I never looked at them like my children. I would always think that they're Yuki's children, not mines. I would care for them, try to show affection for them, but I couldn't love them. It was like trying to show love for a person that you didn't know very well. They always could see that I would never live up the role as their mother. So we rarely waste our time understanding each other, getting to know each other as an individual.

At times, we would have small talks, about the most random things. Maybe it could be about a movie, how their teachers were, and their goals in life. It was nice, but rather impersonal. I don't know their personality, how they react around others. They would answer me politely, giving me what I want to know, but I could never go past that. I know what they like and what they don't, but it's always on the level of an aunt to her friend's children.

However, I care so much for my sister's daughter, Junko. Some reason, I always thought of her as mines. We would always talk about everything, and get to know each other so well. She would always occupy my time much more than my own children. I would personally care from everything to her lunch to what clothes she was wearing, to her homework. I just couldn't help myself. I could see a reflection of something like me and my sister within her. But she was leaving, and I'm left with all the emptiness in the house.

Akio and Hikaru never got jealous of Junko. They thought that life was fair, that if Junko had all my love, they would seek for Yuki's adoration towards them. He loved them so much more, thinking that since it was given to him by me and that I was his true love. He was so deep in his relationship with Akio and Hikaru that he thought I only pitied Junko. Since no one else would show such kindness towards her. He took me for a selfless woman, one that puts everyone before others. And he saw my relationship between my children like a friendship instead, that's why we were so distant with each other. He came up with an explanation for everything, while the facts were plainly written in our faces. Did he really love his illusions that much? Did he think that they were real?

At this gathering, I guess they expected me to look happier. Yuki leaned over to ask me what's wrong, and I managed to muster a smile to say that I was tired from planning such an event. He smiled and praised me again, in his gentle voice. He gave me an assuring smile, and I comforted him, that nothing was wrong with me. After a few more exchanges, he went back to his conversation with whomever. That took long enough. Was I some pet for him to shower all his love on? A little doll? Pathetic.

As I continue to stare, I caught Kyo's reflection from the window. _Kyo. _It's something so distant now. Once he finished his marriage, he finally came back. But things weren't the same between us anymore. We still talked, but much less frequent. Maybe once or twice a month, and we only saw each other at important holidays. Even then, the topics were impersonal, to avoid awkwardness. Every time we talk, it's like the air between us is thicker than usual. I could sense that we have so much to say to each other, but we couldn't get out our thoughts. Our bonds kind of stopped developing, since we rarely communicated anymore. It would seem weird to everyone in public as well.

Life for me, is comfortable, is satisfied, and it is content. I should be thankful that I have wonderful children, a good family, and all that. I really thank the gods for that. But I haven't found what I truly wanted yet. And that's something that I probably will never have. Even Mokoto has one better than I do. In the end, the plotting and vengeance does come back to me. At least she's still within her imagination. The last time I've checked reports on her, they say that she still likes to talk about Yuki loving her, and that she always likes to mutter her motto, 'The Most Happy'.

So, you know those stories that we used to read when we're like 5. Those fairy tales with wicked plots, evil monsters, but somehow by the end, everything has been solved. I used to think that everything will be alright, but not anymore. Those happy endings are so fake. So impersonal. So, beyond humans. Only a fool could have a real happy ending.

In reality, one of us is a Prince Charming happily married to his Cinderella, a Rapunzel still waiting for her prince to rescue her from her tall tower, Jasmine that has been married to Jafar for political reasons, and a Beast still waiting for his true love to break the spell for him. So, if Yuki has labelled himself with a happy ending, then what ending do we deserve?

* * *

_Author's Notes: So...I'm wondering did anyone make it this far, and does everyone want to kill me? Before you do, let me say a few things. _

_First of all, I did warn you. You're the one that chose to proceed with this story. Don't blame me if you found stuff that you didn't like. Second, there are some stories out there with a Tohru Honda that's very different than the one in the manga. I mean, I like her and everything, but do you think that she's this pure. There are some examples from the manga. One of them saying that she feels selfish, and the other saying that she's always pretending to be so polite, since she wants her mother's affections. So I kind of took those qualities, and spun it into something like this. And remember, just because what she says in this story, doesn't mean that its true. Sometimes characters say stuff to throw you off. If you don't think that what she said was true, don't assume that its true. Just because its written in 1st person POV, doesn't mean its the whole truth. They could be lying. _

_I kind of got this idea from random thinking, and so here it is. The title, some might think, what the heck. I did it on purpose. If the Tohru Honda that I write is already thinking like that, might as well add some irony to it. Its kind of a sarcastic thing...but yeah... As for the ending, the 'we' that Tohru's talking about, its Kyo and her. She was not refering to her sister, Mokoto. Just because she has expressed some type of envy and pity towards her sister in the end, doesn't mean that she cares about her. _

_So, does anyone still want to complain their hearts out? If you do, feel free. I actually want to see how much people would hate me because of this little story. Flame me for all I care. _

_Have a nice day. _


	2. Kagura: My definition

Chapter: My Definition

Summary: Kind of a spin-off/companion piece with A Happy Ending. [AU Tohru was wrong. Kagura wasn't naïve, its just that her mask was even more tightly secured than Tohru's.

Disclaimer: Current bank account balance : -$100000000000

Warning: OOCness. That is all, and maybe no happy ending. Depends on how you look at it.

* * *

Fool [noun 1. A silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense. 

-----------------------------------------------------------

When my grey eyes caught that, I almost wanted to laugh. It suited me so much, yet it was not fitting at all. My whole life could've been described with that word, although no one had any idea what it meant for me, or for anyone else. That was the most horrible definition one could give for that word.

My life started as any other normal person. I had a normal family that loved me. Brothers that helped me, sisters that fought with me, mother that cared for me, father that nurtured me. And I had some close friends, and we would share laughs. I had a couple of crushes, more or less rejected. Then I entered college, university. I had gotten a part time job to help my financial problems. My life was normal. Until I met him.

I didn't know why, but once I saw him, I couldn't help but love him. All that passion, desire, swelled up, almost choking me to death. It was love at first sight, it was foolish, but I knew what I wanted. I want him.

So I started finding him, going back to the restaurant that I saw him at. I searched around the neighbourhood. I asked everyone about him. It shouldn't be that hard finding him, with his unique orange hair and ruby red eyes. But I couldn't find him, not for another 6 months.

However, my determination must've made the gods on my side. One day, I found him while I was studying. Guess we started talking, and we're in a relationship pretty soon.

People called me a bitch, a whore, a prostitute. They think I only went for him because of his money, that I was wiling to sell my body. Maybe it was because of my agressiveness, or maybe because I would always want to dominate him. I always jumped at him, called him, found him to eat lunch with me, to do this with me, to do that. He became the center of my universe. He was my god.

After a few months, he proposed. I was shocked. I never knew that he had such feelings for me, and that my feelings were returned so quickly. I accepted immediately, and then he started ranting about plans. Where should we have the wedding, who should we invite, what theme should it be? I was in total joy, and those were my happiest times with him. He only noticed me, and we're always sharing our thoughts. My favourite times.

Later, before the wedding, he said he wanted me to meet some of his relatives. I agreed. I was so in love, that if he said I should jump off a cliff for his sake, I would have. So we went back to Kyoto, to meet his brother.

Then, I realized why Kyo was so in love with me. Or rather, whatever emotions similar to love that he could muster. Tohru Honda, he was in love with her. I could see it through. Her eyes showed unwillingness, the feeling of betrayed, for a second. Then it was normal again. But that was enough. Kyo's eyes were filled with guilt, and an unknown fear.

My heart was more or less shattered, but I didn't show it. I continued looking happy, looking simple, looking innocent. The mask that I had put on everyday, soon was a part of my identity. Everyone knew me as the devoted wife, and they all praised me. Tohru acted like my sister, Kyo tried showering all his love on me, but it was no use. Anyone that tried looking could tell that it was a whole façade.

Just because I appeared calm on the outside, didn't mean my inside was. I often had to held down this unknown dark force, this feeling that almost wanted to make me snap. It soon grew and grew, and I became bitter. I would start having two personalities, one where my mask was secured, and the other was when all my anger were released.

I would scream, yell at people, throw anything across the room that I could get my hands on, hurting people. Everyone who knew this became terrified. They suggested therapy, but it was no use. It only grew worse over the years.

But I could always maintain the mask as well. Those dark feelings were only haboured up to a certain point, I could release it, and than coil it back in me. I'd never completely stopped it, and I would always slip on my mask to suppress those feelings. It's a habit for me now, to fight between two feelings.

Whenever I see Kyo, I would always cling onto him like a little child. I would always chatter, and remain happy around him. I was like a ball of sunshine, that only showed light emotions. He would try to keep up, but got exhausted, as he put it, then he would go and rest. Then the darker ones would come in, and I would release it without him seeing it. It's been like a routine for years now.

As for Tohru, she was my friend. She tried so hard, but always couldn't keep it up. Her strained voice always was laced with impatience, and her stares often got irriated, jealous. She always looked at me with pity, like I was an abandoned puppy that needs someone to shelter it and protect it. I would ignore all that, and we would always talk or continue to do whatever we were doing. But her mask was cracking more and more, while mine is tighter everyday.

I understand all that, and for my whole life, I've been playing like a fool. The more we hold back, the more that we hide and act, the more foolish we are. It's just that no one ever knew, since they are all part of the act, too much like a fool to find out. But for all that they know, they don't even know what the definition of fool meant.

I stared at the paper, than wrote something beside it. Then I walked out of the room, laughter echoing everywhere. Time to slip on that mask again.

-----------------------------------------------

_Fool [noun 1. Someone that knows that they're being used or taken advantage, but allow others to do it anyway, and look happy while doing it. _

* * *

_Author's rambling corner: So...I've decided just to combine both of these into one story, and continue a few more oneshots around this storyboard. _

_At first, I did plan to keep Kagura the way that she was in the story, but then for some reason, my mind started rambling away. Since I was thinking about Kagura, and how would she react in a dark position, my mind went back to that story. So what if Kagura wasn't really all that naive, as Tohru saw her. It kind of fitted as well, since Kagura in the manga wasn't all that cheerful either. So this piece came._

_This one is a really short one. I think it works enough, and it explains enough. There wasn't even much of a story to tell, it was more like analyzing her emotions, and reflecting herself. _

_So, if you people think that in any way this is OOC, feel free to flame me. I don't mind. In fact, I was surprised when no one flamed me for my Tohru one, since I thought I was totally portraying a Tohru Honda that has nothing to do with the manga. _

_Oh, since I started this, I might as well do one on Mokoto. It'll definately be something interesting, and take my mind off my other story. I may do one on Kyo, if I'm really desperate, or just bored, but I highly doubt that I would do one on Yuki. He's so hard to understand. _

_So, until the next one. Bye. _

_October 15, 07_


End file.
